No Time Like The Quarantine

Writing, writing, writing while on quarantine

Immortal Divorce and Other Hurdles

This is a bad idea. Rudy doesn’t get it. I’m putting everyone in danger by going with them. Rudy looks at me in the rear view. His eyes are wild, and he looks back to the road so quickly that I wonder if he was actually looking at me for a moment. Then his eyes are back. 

“What do you think this is about?” he asks, his fingers undulating over the steering wheel.  I meet his eyes for a split second in the mirror before he looks back to the road. 

“The tithe,” I answer matter of factly. The very word makes everyone writhe uncomfortably. These sort of things are always about the tithe. Well, they always say it's about the tithe, but it's really about setting an example. Rudy and the coven don't need to know that. This is going to be difficult enough without knowing that not everyone is getting out alive. It's probably the hospital. The Council Chairs never like it when the peons work so close to the humans, but it's not like Rudy is some fledgling revenant, he's been a vampire for more than 600 years. Here's not a problem. Maybe they don't like that he works at the free clinic. He's a charitable soul, they know that, they've known that for 600 years. Maybe someone recognized me. Maybe it's all my fault.

"I shouldn't have come," I say looking out the window. If I’d known the council was in town I would have left, but they snuck up on everyone. You wouldn't think that vampires as old as those on the council could go anywhere in secret, but I guess they've had plenty of practice. 

"You were seen with us," Rudy says his knuckles whitening as he squeezes the wheel. "The Chairs would ask questions if you aren't with us." 

They're going to do a lot worse if any of them recognize me. I look at Carla and Steven sitting next to me. Their hands are woven together in a big knot. This will be their first time in front of the council. She hasn't even been a vampire a year yet. They'll probably kill her first. Maybe that will be enough to spare everyone else. Steven won't stand for it of course, but Rudy will hopefully be able to talk him down. Susan up in the passenger seat watches out the window as the hotel comes into view. It's the Holiday Inn. Cheap bastards are going to slaughter us in a budget hotel. Susan looks over her shoulder at me and I try a reassuring smile. Her expression stays blank. She knows it's bad. Can't kid a kidder. I look back at the hotel.

"Who owns this one?" I ask as we pull into the parking lot.

"Avery," Susan says. "Apparently he has a buffet set up for the Chairs."

I shudder, "Of course he does." Avery is a bit twisted. It's always kids. I try not to think too much about it. There's nothing we can do about it now. We all fall out of the car and make our way to the lobby. At the front desk Rudy gets our instructions. I keep my head down. There are eight vampires in the lobby. They're dressed like kids, if I didn't know better I'd think they were a baseball team traveling for a tournament, but they are watching us even as they toss a ball back and forth between them. They aren't local, which means they're council muscle. My coven stands apart from them as much as possible. I try to obscure myself in their midst. I don't recognize the baseball goons, but that doesn't mean they won't recognize me. Rudy shuffles us around the corner to one of the executive ballrooms. There's a vampire sitting at the door reading a newspaper, and he knocks as we approach. A vampire inside the room opens the door and ushers us in. I keep my head so low my chin is practically digging into my sternum. We're poised in the center of the dimly lit room. I can feel the tables around us, twelve of them. The Council Chairs sit in front of us, and if I can just keep my head down we all might make it out of here in one piece. Rudy is a good negotiator. 

I wonder what Todd is doing right now. Probably just sitting down to watch the game, beer in hand. He's probably left a message on my phone by now asking if I'm busy. It's my week to get the pizza. He'll be worried that I didn't answer. He'll probably call again later. I might still be alive to answer. I hope so. I'd hate to let Todd down. After all this time, he’s the only person I care if I disappoint. If I can do one thing right tonight, it will be to make sure that none of this comes back to him. 

“Look at this motley band,” the vampire directly in front of us laughs. Julian. Damn. I try to hide a little more, without making it obvious. I didn’t think he would bother coming out himself. The High Chairs so rarely travelled to this part of the world. A man grunts back at him and the hair on the back of my neck stands straight up. Darius. Double damn. I fight the urge to look. I have to keep my head down, he can’t see me, lives depend on him not seeing me. Julian continues, “I’m sure you’re wondering why you are here?”

Rudy steps forward, “Yes, Sirs.”

Maybe I can just peek up. When was the last time I saw Darius, Budapest maybe? That was barely a glimpse. He wouldn't have changed at all. He'll always be the same, that's what it means to be immortal. If I look up it will just endanger everyone. I have to fight the urge. Self control, that's what I've been doing all these years, I just need a few more minutes. I can do this. 

"There have been a number of troubling charges brought against your coven," Julian says. "Fraternizing with humans."

"Sir, I'm a doctor," Rudy says, "My patients are human. I have to interact with them to treat them." 

"We understand that a great deal of time was taken turning your newest member." Darius says, and I have to clench my chin to my chest to fight the urge to peer up at him. The sound of his voice is like a siren's song. "Lengthy courtships are dangerous in this day and age. Information gets away from us too quickly."

That hardly seems fair, especially coming from him. He used to say that courtship was a dance. And oh my, did he ever dance well. If I could just look up at his face, I would know what he really thinks. No, look down, just like Le Miserable. I can do this.

"And it seems that you've failed to increase you tithe to match the size of your new congregation," Julian continued. It always comes back around to the tithe. The only inevitable thing in the world when you're immortal, taxes. 

"Lord Julian," Rudy begins, "we're not a coven in the traditional sense. We do not produce in the same way that other houses do. We're not a business, we're a family. This is my wife, my son, my daughter-in-law, my sister." Don't draw attention to me Rudy. I try to make myself smaller. It's sweet that he calls me his sister, but it might be better to call me out of sight, out of mind. 

"While that is a sweet sentiment, it is not an opinion shared by this council," Julian responds. I flick my eyes ever so careful up to try and glimpse the High Chair, but he's just above my brow line. Damn. "Your tithe must be paid based on the current size of your house, or your house must shrink." 

Susan takes Rudy's hand, as Carla clings tighter to Steven, which leaves me unpaired, and exposed. I can't help letting my face peek up trying to see the scene. I only look up long enough to make sure no one is looking at me. They aren't. I sigh inwardly with relief.

"Sirs," Rudy says, "We can't pay anymore. We are already stretched to pay as it is."

I sense more than see the movement around us. They're going to execute us. They're not going to wait for judgement. Reflexively I reach over and wrap my arms around Carla, trying feebly to protect her. She doesn't deserve this. She hasn't been a vampire long enough to deserve this yet. 

"I see there is a far greater infraction we need to deal with," Darius says. I press my face into Carla's hair trying to pull her into me as much as I can. She looks terrified sandwiched between me and Steven. "I know that creature there to be a werewolf."

I look up and Darius is looking straight at me. All movement in the room has ceased. He looks the same. Not a day has gone by for him in almost 3000 years. I don't know why that continues to shock me. I haven't changed either, not physically at least. 

"Hello husband," I say pushing the young shivering vampire behind me. Rudy turns wild eyes to me. I told him this was a bad idea, so I shrug at him. He should have listened.

"Ahh, Zephyra, what a pleasant surprise!" Julian says clapping his hands together.

I scowl at him, "Actually, it's Becky now." Only vampires cling doggedly to their human names. Personally, I change mine every 10 years out of force of habit whether I need to or not. Becky won't last me much longer, assuming I live passed today. Darius smiles and my eyes flick back to him, riveted by every move he makes. He's still beautiful. 

"This is what you've been doing all this time, taking in strays?" he says. I'm watching his lips so intently that I barely hear the words he's saying. I look at Rudy and Susan who are watching me fearfully. 

"Sort of stumbled into it, really." I can feel the cool spot where Carla is pressed between my shoulders. She's still shaking. Please, Darius, don't ask the question. Please, forgive me.

"It is against our laws to let werewolves live," Julian says. I don't look at him. I'm still holding my breath, waiting for Darius. His is the only opinion that matters. I am his. "This means that all of your lives are now forfeit."

"I submit myself to my husband's judgement," I say before vampires can react to the edict. "That is my right by the old laws."

Julian scowls at me, but then turns to Darius. We watch each other. His eyes rake over me as if trying to remember every inch that he once knew so well. I left, but it was for a good reason, and he knows it, he has to know it. Darius, please forgive me. 

"Wife," he says and I step towards him. 

"Husband," I say gripping the edge of the table he sits behind. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" He asks his eyes cool, "leaving me, or killing our children."

My breath catches in my throat. Is that what he's thought all this time? No wonder he's hated me. 

"That's not fair!" I cry, "What I did, I did so they would live. And Darius they lived. They grew into such strong, good men. They're lives had meaning. Then those lives ended as all mortal lives must end."

Our sons were great men. Founders of Nations. Leaders of men. How dare he suggest that such lives had no meaning just because they were mortal lives. 

"They could still be here," he says looking through me. 

"As what?" I ask, "As a vampire? As a werewolf? Would you really have wanted such a thing for someone you loved?" I certainly didn't. That's why I took them away. I took them where they would be safe from Julian's poison. Darius would never have chosen this life for our sons, but Julian would not have given him a choice. He would have found a way to manufacture the necessity to change them just like he did for Darius. Just like he did for me. I had to keep them safe. I can see in Darius eyes that he knows it to be true. Something has happened in our years apart that has helped him to see the monster the way I have. I kneel before him. 

"But they're gone now," he says finally meeting my eyes.

"No," I tell him, smiling. "They live even now. They live there," I say pointing to Rudy, "and there." Pointing to Carla. 

He looks at the vampires before him in a new light. They look back at me and I smile. Maybe I didn't quite stumble into these particular vampires. I didn't just pluck them up for no reason. They're my blood, I have to protect them. It's what I do best. It's all I've done for nearly 3000 years. 

"You can verify this I suppose?" Julian sneers. 

I look him right in the eye and bark, "Yes."

"Our blood seems destined for immortality," Darius says distractedly. "How many are of your ilk I wonder?"

Looking back at him I watch as his eyes grow cold. He thinks so poorly of me? "There have been four."

"But no longer?" He asks.

I stare through him. They hadn’t been my fault. But a werewolf’s life is often violent and short. The loss of control accompanied by unfathomable strength and hunger often makes them too dangerous to leave alive. I had no choice. That’s the reason this council has put a bounty on all of my kind’s heads. Other than the personal reasons, of course.  

“I’ve done a great number of terrible things in my long life," So many terrible things. Things that I still see in my nightmares, "but failing to steal our sons' mortality is perhaps the one thing that I've done right.” I look into my husband's eyes. I've hurt him. That may have been the worst thing I've done. It was cruel to steal his sons, to take his legacy out of his hands, but they were my legacy too. They were my blood, too.

I slide my hand across the table intending to take his hand and see a flicker of movement out of the corner of my eye. Turning toward the twitch I see her. Her long red hair bundled artfully on top of her head. She stares daggers at me. My fingers curl into a fist on the table. His new wife. I’ve spent my life living like a nun and he took a new wife in less than a century of our separation. Seeing her by his side in Verona had nearly killed me. Granted that was no reason to burn the Vampire Council House, but that was not exclusively my fault. It was more a matter of failing to stop the humans from doing so, but that's beside the point. I've spent the last 3000 years being faithful, and he chose not to do the same.

“I’ve been a faithful wife,” I say not breaking eye contact with the vile woman, “My vows bind me to you.” I look back into his steel grey eyes. If we’re going to finish this, it should be as we started it, together. Standing, I step back towards my coven. “But please don’t let your displeasure with me reflect on my family. They aren’t involved in this.”

Rudy puts his hand on my shoulder. I look at the floor and clasp my hands in front of me. There were so many times I could have put my happiness before my vows, but I didn’t. I was good. I watched our family. I respected my commitment. I didn’t let the animal win. I didn’t go mad. I didn’t sleep with Todd. Gods, I miss Todd. I wonder if he’s called yet? We were going to watch the game together. I don’t really care for football, but the bright colors and fast motion seem to be entertaining for Todd, so I endure it to spend time with him. When I need a ride, he’s always there to get me, usually in his cop car, but still a ride’s a ride. Because he invites me over I don’t have to eat alone or with a bunch of vampires awkwardly watching me. For the few hours a week that I get to see him, I get to be human. And all this time I’ve been living by these ancient vows, that my fucking husband hasn’t even been following. I’m not sure what makes me angrier, that I’ve wasted so much time being good, or that he has spent so much time not. But what did I expect? He’s a vampire. Their very nature is cruel and amoral. I feel so foolish. 

“I’ve decided,” he says. I raise my eyes to watch him. There’s a smile in the corners of his eyes that doesn’t meet his lips. “You no longer deserve to be my wife.”

His words hit me like a physical slap and I stagger back against Rudy’s hand. If he wasn’t there I think I might go all the way down. My heart is pulsing through my ears and I can’t hear. I have to clamp my hand over my mouth to hold in a cry. I thought he might feel this way, but to hear him say it hurts me. Everything he has done for the last three millennia has hurt me; becoming a vampire, putting a bounty on my head, marrying the vile woman, choosing the council over me, all of it. Yet, there’s always one more cut that can be made isn’t there? There’s always one more drop to be wrung. I didn’t realize how viceral my need for his approval was until I didn’t receive it. The wolf in me cries to the crescent moon and longs to break free. It would tear it’s way to the surface and then tear through this entire council chamber. The wolf doesn’t feel slighted, it just wants to feed its hunger. It hungers for vengeance, for freedom, for oblivion. I can feel the wolf’s eyes looking out. Feel how it hungers, and I struggle to hold it back. I am in control, not the animal. I have a mind for reasoning. I can wait until they start trying to kill us. Then I will let the beast run, and I will watch the world burn. 

“I release you from your vows,” Darius says. “But I retain the right to your life.”

I look up at my husband. He’s watching me, his eyes narrowing at the sight of my own. The wolf sees him as a weaker animal, and he can see that. Julian is scowling at his co-chair as if he is mad. “What?”

“No one will touch you except me,” Darius says, “I will decide when you die, dear wife, and I decide that is not today.”

Julian stands and slams his fist against the table. “No! This is madness. She is a werewolf, our enemy. She deserves to die.”

Darius cocks his head at me, “I think the crueler fate is to let her live. I find the thought of her living an unending life most satisfying. If I should have to then so should she.”

Julian’s fists are so tightly clenched that his knuckles go white. “Their coven is still too large.”

Darius turns his cool steel eyes to his sire. They stare at each other for a long time. Then, looking back at me Darius says, “She is not a vampire and thus is not subject to tithing, and if I am to believe my wife then those two are in fact my blood, and so their tithe is my responsibility. That leave two. So, In fact, they are overpaying currently.”

Julian looks ready to leap upon my steel eyed savior. The council room has become very loud suddenly. All the vampires in the room are shouting to be heard. My coven has closed in around me and we stand locked together as the room spins into chaos. Darius smirks at me and I bow my head to him. He returns the gesture and I pull my small family from the council chamber. No one stops us. The confusion is too great. There is no agreement as to whether we are still being punished and rather then wrongly act against us all the vampires have decided to take a stance of deliberate neglect. When we make it out of the room we run. We don’t even stop as the vampiric youths in the lobby jump up and call to us. We make it to the car and Rudy guns the engine spinning us out of the parking lot. After running three stop lights at about 40 over the speed limit Rudy determines that we might be safe. Carla and Steven are laughing and Susan has sunk so low in the front seat that I can only see her hair sticking up. I look at Rudy’s wild eyes in the mirror. He can’t believe we made it out. I can’t believe it either. I silently thank every God I can think of as we drive back home. Rudy takes Susan’s hand as we merge onto the highway and finally seems to settle a bit. 

“Am I really related to you?” he asks flicking his eyes to me in the mirror. I look at his reflection and smile.

“Yes,” I tell him and lift up my extended fingers to count, “You are my youngest son’s great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandson.”

“And me?” Carla says. Steven has her wrapped up in his arms and perched on his lap. She’s smiling. She smiles like her father. 

“You’re that plus a bucketful more greats, on your mother’s side.” She puts her hand over her mouth as she giggles. I pat her knee. “If you would like to see the paperwork I can get it for you. My records are thorough.”

“I believe you,” Rudy says laughing. “Why didn’t you tell me that one of the High Chairs was your ex?”

“He wasn’t my ex,” I say matter of factly. “And really back when we were married I was really more his property then his wife. It’s complicated.”

Rudy shakes his head as we exit the highway and weave through the neighborhood to our suburban ranch. As Rudy puts the car into park we all just sit trying not to think about how close to death we just came. Slowly Steven opens his door and lifts his wife from the car. She wraps her arms around his neck as he carries her into the house. I sigh as I watch them disappear into the dark. Susan squeezes her husband’s hand before slipping out of the car and slowly making her way to the door. 

Looking at me leaning back in my seat Rudy says, “I guess your divorce is final now, then?” 

I meet his eyes in the mirror, “What?”

“Darius released you from your vows,” he says, “Doesn’t that mean your a free woman?”

That’s right. He broke with me. I’m not married anymore. I slide forward in the seat. After all these years I’m free to do whatever, or whoever I want. I let that sink in. I throw myself out of the car. Running down the street I can’t hear what Rudy calls after me. Practically flying through the dark neighborhood I nearly run into three cars, jump eight fences, trip on a sprinkler hose, and scare a couple of fighting cats into a panic before I make it to the door I’m looking for. I throw myself into knocking. Todd opens his front door with the look of someone expecting the Spanish Inquisition. I don’t say anything, I don’t hesitate, I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him. He’s the first man I’ve kissed in three thousand years. His arms wrap around me as he pulls me into his chest and I push my fingers through his hair. When he comes up for air, before he can ask any questions I tell him, “My divorce is finalized.” His eyes get very wide for a moment. Then like a switch has gone on in his brain he pulls me through the door and slams it closed behind me.

The Woman at the Bar

The woman is just sitting at the bar. Her long slender fingers have been been caressing the drink for almost an hour and she hasn’t once tasted it. There isn’t even condensation on the glass anymore. All the time she watches the men coming and going from the bar, but not staring because someone would notice that. I slide my drink down the bar to sit next to her and she doesn’t look up. Everything about her is perfect. Her skin is so smooth it’s like she’s been carved from marble. Her honey blonde hair looks like spun gold. Her figure is voluptuous and bared to the world in her skin tight black mini dress. I believe the modern slang is she’s a snack.

“Are you a vampire?” I ask. Her head whips up so fast that her hair circles all the way around to slap not only her, but also the person sitting behind her. They take a step away. 

“Excuse me?” she says in her beautiful melodic voice. She slides her drink between us like it’s a talisman against evil.  

“Are you a vampire?” I ask again, then elaborate when she continues to look shocked, “You’ve been sitting her by yourself for over an hour and haven’t taken a single drink that whole time.”

She seems to sooth and smiles warmly at me, “I like to watch people.” She takes a sip from her now, warm cocktail, and dribbles it back into the glass out the side of her mouth. “Oh God, that it awful. What in the Hell did I order?” 

She slides the glass across the bar as she scowls at it like it has personally offended her. Snapping her tongue several times she turns back to me, as if remembering that someone is in fact sitting next to her. I point behind the bar and she turns to look. “Also, you have no reflection.”

She cocks her head at the shelves of liquor behind the bar. I wave at my reflection behind the bottles and point to her noticeable absence next to me. She waves at the bottles to no effect on the mirror. Her head nods as she turns back to me.

“Good catch,” she says looking me up and down, “So you got me, what now?”

I lean towards her, “What’s it like?”

She groans loudly spinning back on her chair. “A groupie.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have bothered you,” I say standing up to leave, “I just figured, immortal vampire, probably has all the time in the world.”

She looks at me out of the corner of her eye. With her foot she slides my bar stool back out. I take my seat and she sighs. “What do you want to know?”

“What’s it like being a vampire?” I say taking a sip from my drink.

She cradles her chin in her hand, “That’s rather broad and ambiguous.”

I think, “How do you become a vampire?”

“A vampire bites you and you don’t die. Next question,” she says, like I’m an idiot. Which I suppose I am, I mean I choose to out a vampire.

“Are you really immoral,” I ask.

“Yes,” she says, “And I really can’t walk in daylight. I do drink blood. I am much stronger and faster than a normal person. But the garlic thing is totally untrue.”

I smile. “What’s it like drinking blood?”

“What do you really want?” she says taking my drink from my hand and smelling it before taking a sip. “You considering the vampire life?”

I roll my shoulders in a shrug. It might be nice to live forever. Was that my intention when I came over? No, of course not, but since she’s thrown it out there.

“Listen,” she says, “I like your moxie, coming over here, and I think I might throw you a bone. Meet me outside that door,” she says pointing, “in ten minutes. Stand nice and far back in the alley out of sight.” 

She stands up and set down my drink. I nervously ask, “Are you going to drink my blood?” 

She smiles, “I’m going to give you an education. I think you’ll find it life altering.”

She disappears into the crowded bar. I look at the door, and at my watch. I slap some money down on the bar and head for the door. Outside is a dark alley, with garbage bags piled high on each side and a big dumpster. I step around the refuse and take up a position far to the back away from the quiet street at the mouth. She might come out here and drain me dry, or she could just be pulling a prank on me and leave me out here to enjoy the lovely aroma. I’m stupid to come out here, if I really think she’s a vampire. What the hell is wrong with me?

The door swings open and two bodies come tumbling out of the bar locked in an embrace. I check my watch, seems early. I step closer to see what’s going on and realize one of the entangled bodies is in fact my vampire. She’s wrapped around a big, linebacker of a man. The man pushes her up against the wall of the alley as his hand finds its way to the bottom of her little black dress. Breathlessly she tells him no, but he doesn’t listen, and his hand continues to migrate up her thigh. More firmly she tells him no, and I take another step towards the now struggling couple. I’m not just going to stand her and watch this gorilla molest this woman. He murmures something against her neck and she pushes him away, firmly shouting no. He laughs and I bite back my own anger. She pushes him hard and he stumbles back. That only seems to make him angry and he raises his hand as if to slap her, at which point my senses jump into high gear as I leap from my hiding place. But in the time it takes me to step out of the shadows she has hold of his wrist and bodily turns him so his back pressed to her. 

“That’s too bad. I did give him a chance,” she looks at me, “You saw it, right? I gave him a chance to make the correct choice. If he had just made the right choice I would have let him just walk away, which is really too bad because he has two kids that are now going to be orphans. Of course he beats the shit out of those kids, but a terrible father is better than no father right? He hit their mother so hard that she lost an eye. That was when she left. She jumped ship like a rat on the Titanic. She abandoned those kids with this monster. Of course it didn;t end any better for her did it? No she died of a drug overdose two years later. And he knows that because she sent him a letter ask, begging for his help. She wanted to come home, because I guess the abuser you know is better than the one you don’t. And you knows she died because the coroner sent him a letter asking him to identify her body, which he never did so she was buried in a pauper's grave with no name. Which is too bad, because he actually does miss her. No one cowers quite right, not the way she did, not even the boy. Hell soon the boy is going to be big enough that he’ll start kicking your ass won’t he? And the girl is just too trusting, you can’t hit her, and she looks so much like her mother and you think if you could just touch her, but no that gets you sent to jail, and once they found out you diddle your own kid they would rape you to death, and no one wants that. So you go out and find those women at the bars, the whores. You know they’re whores, because look at how they dress, they’re asking for you to scare them. If they didn’t want to get hit they wouldn’t dress like whores. Of course they don’t cower like she does, no matter how hard you hit them. So you go out looking for someone that makes you feel as powerful as she did every night, or drink until you’re too drunk to care that they aren’t her when you hit them. Really, leaving you alive would be the real punishment. But, you know, Bitches gotta eat.”

There’s only a second’s hesitation before she rears back and strikes like a snake. The man bucks under her grip, but it’s like a toddler fighting an adult. She squeezes his hand twisting it until it snaps. The man tries to scream but she has his jaw caught in her vice like grip. The sound that comes out is more like a squeal through his teeth. His feet kick against the ground, trying to find traction, but they don’t. And the squealing stops. His hissing breath is sharp and fast through his teeth. Then it’s not. His breath is slow and uneven, and his eyes roll to the back of his skull. For a moment, a long terrible moment, his body goes completely rigid, then he goes limp. Her teeth are still dug into his neck after his body collapses under her and she follows it to the ground. When she has sucked as much as she can stand, or possibly get she unlocks her jaw and licks around the holes in his neck. She doesn’t leave even a drip of blood. Waste not want not, I guess.

When she’s done she sits back on her heels rolling her face to the sky. Her whole body shakes and she drops her face into her hands. “So what do you think, Tim? Is it everything you hoped it would be?”

“Were all those things you said true,” I ask taking a step closer. 

She pulls her hands down her face. Looking like she might be sick she puts the back of her hand under her nose. “Would that make you feel better?”

Shakily she stands, holding the wall for balance. I step around the body to help her. Her head lulls from side to side. She takes a few steps towards the opening of the alley. I look at the dead man on the ground then back to her. “What about him?”

She looks back as if she’s completely forgotten about the body she just made. First she looks at me, then at the body, then at me, and shrugs. I point at him and the openness of the alley. She rolls her eyes, “Oh, right.” Reaching down in a single movement she grabs the neck of the dead man and lifts him like a bag of garbage and throws him into the dumpster. The lid slams closed. “Can we go?”

I stand unable to move for a moment. Then I nod. I step towards her and she leans heavily against me. Her steps are sideways and staggering. “What’s wrong with you?”

“That dude was high as a kite,” she says, giggling, “Honestly if I hadn’t killed him the drugs and booze probably would have.”

“And you’ve got what?” I ask as we stumble out of the alley, “A contact high?”

“You are what you eat,” she laughs.

Sooth Saying

“I am a soothsayer, a sayer of sooths,” the man answered.

The long quail feather in his turban bobbed as he spoke, and Shona could not help but smile at his strangeness. His wide velvet sleeve flapped wildly as he swung his arms. He was dressed in true mystic fashion. His show had all the correct beat and contained all the appropriate flare and phantasm. He produced from one of his billowing sleeves a clear sphere and held it out for the audience to ogle. Rachel was immediately drawn in and began to snake closer through the crowd. Shona begrudgingly followed, pushing passed the enthralled masses. The mystic set the little crystal orb on a pillow atop a pedestal that he had pulled down from his cart. He waved his hands enthusiastically over it.

“This is an ancient tome, of the ancients. It holds great powers of past, present, and future. But only a select few are given the ability to tap into this power, like myself,” he held one hand up to the crowd and the other up to his temple. His eyes rolled as he waved his hand over the crowd. His hand stopped suddenly as Shona finally caught up to her daughter who was waving her hand wildly to be picked. “You, sweet lady, the great divine has spoken to me and said you too have this great power.”

He held out his hand and Shona looked left and right trying to see whom he reached for, but it was her arm he grasped. He pulled her forward and she grabbed hold of her daughter before she lost sight of her. Paul pushed his way into the crowd in the space they vacated and looked questioningly as Shona was positioned in front of the sphere. She gave him a playful smile as she focused on what the fortune teller was saying.

“All you have to do is place your hand upon the crystal ball, and it shall open your third eye to the future,” he opened her hand so the palm was flat and hovered near the top of the orb, “When you are ready.”

He took several steps back. Rachel stood close to her mother’s shoulder trying to see. Shona let her hand hover a little longer. There was a pulsing coming from the orb. It was like a heartbeat coming from deep within. The sensation intrigued her. Shona flexed her fingers and took a breath before forcing her hand down onto the spherical rock. The shock was instant, like a great burst of wind from every direction at once. Then there was complete stillness like she was floating. Swirling around her was only darkness except for a far off pinpoint of light, like she was look up from the bottom of a well. She willed herself towards the light and it grew into an endless tunnel, the light always just out of reach. Shona floated ever towards its end, searching for something she could not name.

While Shona transcended within, the world outside had erupted into chaos. The instant her hand had touched the stone it had blackened and a great burst of wind had pushed outward, forcing Rachel to the ground. The pupils of her mother's eyes swelled making them appear completely black. Shona stood stark straight and her hair hung suspended in the air as if floating in a pond. Paul leapt to her side, but the fortune teller halted him before he could reach his lover.

“Do not touch her,” the soothsayer warned.

“Why, what will happen if I do?” Paul asked taking a step back. Rachel looked to her father in horror. Her brothers came to her side watching their mother cautiously. The twins stayed back in the crowd that was quickly dispersing in terror. They were too struck to move.

“If you touch her, she might come out of it. Do you have any idea how long I’ve been looking for a real soothsayer?” the mystic pulled off his robe and turban creeping close to Shona’s rigid form.

“I thought you were a soothsayer?” Rachel asked looking into her mother’s ghostly face.

“Of course not,” he chided, “I was starting to think they had all been wiped out. The fourth age was not kind to those with the gift.”

The crowd had all but disappeared at this point, and all that remain were of the family. They all drew together watching. Paul stood close behind the fraudulent fortuneteller as he waved his hands in front of the entranced woman’s face.

“What gift?” he asked the mountebank.

“She has the sight,” he replied drawing his pointer finger from his forehead to point out into space, “Go ahead ask her anything.”

Paul stepped forward holding his hands out to either side of his lover. He held the air around her, careful to avoid the pieces of hair that swirled dangerously around her like a demonic sail.

“Shona?” she did not react.

“Try, Seeker,” the peddler prompted.

Paul resettled his focus, “Seeker?”

“ASK,” boomed an unnatural voice from Shona’s mouth.

Hidden World

 Amber stopped as she made her way to a table from the lunch counter. She wasn't sure she had seen what she thought she saw. She took a couple steps in reverse to look back through the doorway to the other dinning room. No, she was seeing it. Standing at a high top was a man with the ass of a horse stuck to his back. People didn't seem to notice. The walked around the protruding back end stuck out into the walkway, but somehow everyone seemed to be avoiding the rear without looking directly at the strange anatomy. It was like the swishing horse tail wasn't there. She just stood staring for a while watching the strange change in communal motion to accommodate a horse butt that no one else apparently saw. Amber didn't move until one of the other people at the high top starting staring back at her. He had tiny little curly cue horns on his forehead. She didn't mean to let her mouth drop open, but it was hard to control at that point. How was it possible that everyone didn't see this?

 Maybe she should have gone to her table, but she turned on her heel and made her way to the strand assembly at the table. They pointedly avoided looking at her as she approached. When she got close enough she had to work hard on her control to keep from reaching out and touching the horse rump, but if it was real that would probably be rude.

 "Hi," she said to the back of the horseman's head, since everyone at the table refused to recognize her, "I realize this is going to sound crazy, and I would not be offended if you just told me that I'm a maniac, because I would totally get that, but are you a centaur?"

 She smiled brightly, and as non-threateningly as she could as the Centaur turned around to look at her with wide eyes. "Excuse me?"

Amber tried to laugh in a way she really hoped didn't make her sound even crazier than she felt. "It's the funniest thing. I was just walking past on my way to lunch when I looked over and notices you over here with a..." she waved at the large horse anterior that whipped it's tail back and forth. "Please tell me that I have lost my mind." Once she started looking at it, she couldn't look away. It was like watching a car crash. One of the big horse feet stamped and startled her. She looked at the other two men at the table. "Then I came over her and noticed that that gentleman was a faun, and this guy is... I'm not really sure what he is, but he is very interesting looking."

 The third man blinked sideways eyelids at her as the faun pulled a hat out of his coat pocket and pulled it over the little horn on his head. The centaur turned to her and looked her up and down. His ears were pointy, that was... unusual.

 "He's a Kappa," the horseman said pointing to the strange creature that stood across the small table. "I think he's mostly turtle."

 Her shoulders slumped as she looked around the table. "I'm not crazy."

 "You sound disappointed?"

 "If I were crazy, I could have talked myself out of what I saw. I might even forget it eventually. But now..." she waved her hand vaguely at the Kappa turtle man, "I'm not forgetting that."

 "His name is Tyler, he's from Hong Kong," the centaur scoffes.

 Amber put her elbows on the table and cradled her head in her hands. "Of course he is. It's suddenly really hot in here or is it just me?"

 Well, things could be worse. This could have all been in her head and slowly worn away at her brain until she was in a state of crippled neurosis. Now she knew it was real and she could just move on with her life. She could move on with her life knowing that there were really centaurs and fauns and kappas, what ever the Hell that was. She stood up straight and took a few deep soothing breaths. The air carried the twang of hot, sweaty horse fur. That was not helpful. Neither was the clip-clopping of giant centaur hooves. She pushed away from the table and spun around. She was going back to her table. Then she was going to sit down and eat her lunch. And if she remain sane through that she would go back to work and finish her spread sheet. When she got home she would drink enough to think this whole day was a bad dream.

Review: Cerulean Sins (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter, #11)

Cerulean Sins (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter, #11) by Laurell K. Hamilton
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Would have been better if the entire vampire politics aspect would have been cut out. If the book had been exclusively about Anita attempting to take out terrorists bent on using her necromancy powers for nefarious ends the book would have been so much better. But instead we got another slog through neck deep vampire politics that Anita is too obtuse to understand. I wish thing were the way they were in the old days, when things were simple. You raised zombies, killed vampires, fought monsters both human and supernatural. Now I we have to put up with chapter after chapter of pointless political posturing, because we all know you're going to shoot your way out of it and render any attempt at social subterfuge moot.

Why you no cool anymore, Anita?

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